Quelling the Tiger Mom in Me

Simone successfully finished her first year in compulsory education.  My measure of success is that she merely went to school everyday that she was healthy enough to.  I knew that she wouldn't like it at first, but I suspected she would tolerate it eventually.   Luckily for all of us, she accepted this new routine and many days she came home smiling and recounted some fun experiences she had with her new friends. 

As is to be expected, there were bumps along the road.  Within the first few months, Simone told me stories of classmates saying mean things to her.  "Everyone is trying to be mean to you."  "I don't like your hair."  "Stop looking at me!"  There were even incidents of kids taking money from her.  It wasn't a case of being bullied to give her lunch money away; instead she just happily obliged when classmates asked her for money.

  

It was no surprise during Simone's first quarter awards ceremony that she got Honor Roll.  But it wasn't that hard since their school- and homework was reading the words for colors and coloring the correct shapes.  As the year progressed, we found out what Simone's strengths and weaknesses were.  She excelled in Reading and remembering the science topics, but her printing left much to be desired.  We knew that she would get awards during her second quarter, but I had not expected she wouldn't be on the honor roll.  The tiger mom in me started to worry.

Simone does not look enthused.

I started to think I should be harder on her to do her homework more neatly.  We were already wrestling with having to do homework in the first place. I had grown up with a gigantic emphasis on grades and delivered the final As and Bs.  But I honestly couldn't regurgitate any of the information that did not initially interest me.  I hated literature and was so poor at comprehension.  History was not interesting unless we were talking about mythology and folklore, which I read on my own and didn't learn in school.  I didn't want Simone to be so focused on getting the grade that she didn't learn anything.  But inside I still used the honor roll as an external gauge. 

The kids were told to give themselves a pat on the back.

I tried not to worry about it when she didn't get honors.  I congratulated her for getting the "Citizenship" and "No Tardies" awards, but I also talked to my friends about my feelings of incompetency as a mother.  In the end, I didn't push her extra hard on her writing and just continued to read to her.   I fostered her extracurricular interests such as gymnastics and dance.  I tried to be a kick-back mom about her grades because I know she is an intelligent girl who has a thirst for knowledge.   If Handwriting was the only thing keeping her from Honor Roll, then so be it.  Heck! 5-year-olds aren't usually developmentally ready to do such fine motor skills for penmanship.  At least Simone was doing well with other subjects. 

Well, a surprise happened after her 3rd quarter awards ceremony.  No, she didn't get honor roll.   A couple of days afterwards, she expressed her desire to get onto the coveted Honor Roll!  I don't know if it was because her friends were on it.  I don't know if I subconsciously pushed her to want it (I hope that isn't it - I know my face can reveal my emotions when I don't want it to).  But now that she really wanted to improve, I really wanted to help her with all my might! 

Honestly, I didn't do anything.  She did all the improving by herself!  The only thing I did was point out to her that her low grade in Handwriting was what was keeping her from getting the award she wanted.  With that info, she took more time and patience to write more legible letters.  And wouldn't you know it, Simone ended up with not just Honor Roll in her last quarter, she also got the "B.U.G." award which is given to kids who "Bring Up Grades!" 

Look at her joy in getting an award!

Simone learned a lot in her first year of Kindergarten.  She learned about nocturnal and diurnal animals, the phases of the moon, how to count to 100, how to add and subtract, the rainforest and its four layers, America and its symbols, and 2D vs. 3D shapes.  She also learned how to verbally express her feelings to kids who were being mean to her, the consequences of talking back to her teacher, and the joys of having best friends. 

I too learned a lesson:  that true change will come from Simone if she initiates it.   She is as stubborn as her mother after all.